PHOENIX OR UNICORN

So, when is enough, enough?

Well firstly, I’m amazed by what the human body can endure. From cancers to car accidents, genetic abnormalities to extreme physical exertion; to me this almost proves that the human body wants to live and thrive. And it can and does heal from most things, with some undeniable exceptions. It is an amazing colony of cells. A privilege. A gift.

But what happens when we don’t heal? What happens when the mental agony gets all too much? Again, this is something that I think about often. I know these feelings extremely well.

And they feel like eating hectic damn dog shit.

However, I try to move beyond these feelings – and change the questions. How can I help?

What can I give? What can I do? What’s an utterly ridiculous task I can perform? How can I surprise the hell out of people? This is usually when I dream up the most obscure adventure, an event, bucket list thing – and now I always try to involve at least one or more people.

You see, I finally figured out that healing doesn’t take place wallowing alone in your bedroom, it takes people.

Only, OMG if the answer to this question was that simple.

Then there’s all the deep stuff. What is my life purpose? What is my legacy? Why did this happen to me? And truly, if you have answers to some of these questions, you are lucky. Yet the more likely response is, I’ve got no freaking idea. Which I think is okay. I think people put way too much emphasis on these unicorns.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for these, but is it not okay to make just one person smile? To watch a candle burn for hours? To practice simple gratitude? We’re not all destined to be Oprah. Or, stop trying to be Oprah.

Be yourself. Find yourself.

And yes we all have pain. Forgive if you’re ready. Grieve. Be stoic. Just don’t let it steal your gift.

Because at the end of the day we all have a choice. In fact, I’ve had a doctor ask me straight out, do you want the tracheostomy or do you want to die?

Giving up is optional.

So, when is enough, enough? I believe it’s when you can no longer connect with yourself, others, and spirit. It’s not even about hope, it’s about humanity. To be able to give someone (even yourself) that true gift that is you, it makes it all worthwhile.

No pain, torture, circumstance can ever defeat the human spirit, it’s far too strong.

Unless you let it.